


My Mulan

by ans7618



Category: Mulan (1998)
Genre: F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Other, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 10:49:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15117797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ans7618/pseuds/ans7618
Summary: Mulan’s father, Fa Zhou, reflects on what his feelings were throughout the war while Mulan was gone.





	My Mulan

**Author's Note:**

> Mulan has always been my favorite Disney movie ever since I was a little girl, and I always wondered what went through the parent's mind when Mulan was away. So, I wrote about it.

As I approach the dinner table, all I can think about is how much joy I have now that my family is together once again. Sitting to the left of me is my elegant and beautiful wife, Fa Li, and beside her is my mother, Grandma Fa. Across from my wife and to my right is my lovely daughter, Mulan, and beside her is the General of the Chinese Army whom Mulan seems to take a liking to, Li Shang. I, however, sit at the head of the table.  
Although we are all so happy for Mulan’s return, the table seems to be rather quiet. I always imagined this moment, the moment she returned. I pictured her telling me all these war stories just as I have told her growing up. But, it is rather odd to be with her now. She is no longer the same person who left us. She is different. She has changed.  
We sit in silence for what seems to be hours when in reality, has only been 5 minutes. As I look at Mulan, the happiness I once had when she arrived has turned to resentment. I have so many questions about this whole situation, and she just sits there swirling her spoon in her soup, not making eye contact. She finally looks at me and sees me staring at her.

“Is something wrong father?” she said, rather confused.  
“What isn’t wrong Mulan?” I exclaimed.  
“I’m not sure I know what you mean.”  
“You left us. You didn’t even leave us a note, just a hairpiece! How could you do this to your mother, to your grandmother...to me?”

Suddenly, it was like I was back to the day she left, back when she was the Mulan I knew, back when my heart was torn in half. 

 

I was waking up, still dazed from my slumber, and saw a hairpiece on my nightstand and my uniform in the closet gone. I knew she’d do something like this; she wouldn’t be my Mulan if she didn’t. I didn’t think she’d do it like this though, to volunteer herself in my place, to not say goodbye or to even warn us. I thought maybe she would find a way for me to not go to war, to contact the emperor or something. I didn’t expect this. However, I knew she was the warrior I raised her to be.  
As the first week came, I began to have my doubts about Mulan’s abilities. I remember the soldiers back in my time. They were all tall, muscular, and great fighters. Mulan was tiny, dainty, and never fought a day in her life. The big guys picked on the small ones. I was one of the tall, muscular men known for great fighting, and I came back from war with an injured leg. How would she survive this?  
My wife was the one who helped me through it all, confirming how smart Mulan is and how brave she is to do what she did. She’d tell me how that braveness would drive Mulan, how she bets Mulan is probably the person people strive to be in the war. I wanted to believe this so bad, but I still had my doubts though.  
As time went on, it just got harder. We didn’t know if she was alive, or dead. Would they tell us if she was dead if they find out she committed treason and lied to get in the army? Would they kill her themselves if they realized she was a girl? We heard there was an avalanche with many fatalities to the Huns, but could she have been one of the unlucky few who didn’t make it out alive?  
It was crazy to think about her being gone. So many things changed. I had to take care of Little Brother and the chickens. All the chores Mulan did were split mostly between Grandma Fa and Fa Li. I never truly appreciated everything Mulan did for us until she was gone. It was truly remarkable how she did everything in such a good time frame.  
I didn’t know how to stay close with Mulan, to remember everything about her. It was almost like the lack of her presence meant death. I would wake up in the middle of the night to Fa Li in Mulan’s room hugging Little Brother as they both wept over Mulan. I would sit and hug them, but I didn’t cry, not anymore. I had to believe Mulan was alive, and it was too soon to grieve over her...too soon.  
My mother didn’t seem to be fazed all too much over Mulan’s leaving. I questioned how she was so calm when they had such an interesting relationship. Both were so much alike in so many ways. My mother would always say how Mulan was “kicking every boy’s butt while also winning their hearts or at least one man’s heart.” She would then give a little chuckle and walk away. There has not been a time in my life I have ever seen my mother be wrong and I was hoping this wasn’t going to be her first, so I believed in it.  
As the war dragged on, I struggled. I struggled to believe Mulan was thriving, I struggled with comforting my family, I struggled with taking care of the house, I struggled with having faith Mulan was going to come out of this alive.  
All I could think about was how bad we ended terms on. We’ve always had such a close relationship, but she thought I was ashamed of her, that she was a disgrace to our family. She saw the disappointment when I found out what happened with the matchmaker, but what really gets to me is what I told her before she left. I didn’t have a choice. It is how things are, even though they shouldn’t be. I was more ashamed to say it then for Mulan to hear it. When Mulan tried to stick up for me but I had to say “Mulan, you dishonor me.” There has been no bigger lie I have said than that phrase, but she may never know that. She may never know how proud I am of her. Mulan is beautiful, independent, brave, brilliant; she is a warrior.  
As the war seemed to be coming to a close, life was getting easier. Fa Li stopped going into Mulan’s room every night (but she still wanders there on occasion), chores were getting done faster, Little Brother cried less, and Grandma Fa was still worry free. Life was “normal.” All we really had to do was wait for Mulan to return.  
News seemed to travel fast here in China, especially when that news involves the Emperor getting kidnapped. We were worried when Mulan didn’t return home, and she wasn’t at the celebration with the other remaining soldiers when the war was over. Our worries were quickly resolved when news said a girl saved China. A girl!  
The news said no one believed the girl when she said Shan Yu was still alive, that he was coming to attack. But the girl didn’t give up. She did everything possible to save the emperor, and she’s a hero. A girl people said went by the name of Ping, but her real name is Mulan. Mulan! The dainty little girl who is brave and brilliant saved China. My daughter is alive!  
Then, Mulan came. She looked so different. Her hair was short, her build was bigger, her stance was confident. How is this the same girl? If it wasn’t for her still radiant glow, he wouldn’t have even recognized her. Her voice even sounded different. Maybe it was from her trying to talk like a boy for so long but it was different. It quivered more like she was scared of me and wanted my approval. Mulan was never scared of me. How could the person who saved China be scared of me, her father?  
Mulan bowed to the ground and spoke in her quaky voice “Father, I brought you the sword of Shan Yu and the crest of the Emperor. They’re gifts to honor the Fa family.” I didn’t know how to respond to that so I did what felt natural. I hugged her.

 

Suddenly I heard Mulan exclaim, “I had to go! It was my duty and I knew you wouldn’t let me! Are you even listening to me?” I grumbled back to reality and apologized.

“Sorry, Mulan. I’m listening,” I confirmed.  
“I thought we were going to talk and be happy when I arrived but all you do is stare in silence. I wanted to tell you everything that happened at war just as you’ve told me, but you don’t seem to care…” Mulan explained.

At that moment I knew I had my Mulan back. She was different, but she was still my fiery, brave Mulan.


End file.
